Why the Hell Would I Want to be A Trophy Wife? A Brief History.

When I was growing up, my Jewish mother devised the most successful child abduction prevention program. Starting at age seven, an eye patch, braces, mullet haircuts and headgear -- which I convinced my fourth grade class that I used to communicate with extraterresterials to get straight As -- did an excellent job of hiding a once curly-haired freckled face little girl.  As my mother continues to remind me twenty years later, "if it works, it must be right."

Once I became a teenager, Ronald MacDonald gave me make-up consults. Past photos, which will be posted shortly, reveal good reasons why I didn't get laid in college.

By an absolute miracle of biblical proportions, I snagged myself an alpha male.  It took him seven years to think about dating me as he is still getting over the fact that I was "tolerably geeky."   How we got married and reproduced two kids is a promising story for later.

Today I still have issues.  Currently, I select my clothes based on what mannequins wear.  I've been on a cookie diet for a year.   I sometimes forget to shower for more than two days between juggling two kids, the alpha male, three consulting jobs, a dog who goes to Harvard (yes, that one), and managing a house.  I'm no different than most women who are trying and doing it all.  I believe if I watch enough of TV's 'Jersey Shore', the "Situation" will do enough ab work-outs for both of us. 

Like most working moms, I don't spend enough time on myself.  As a nurse, I have an exponentially harder time with self-care than the average person.  After all, nurses aim to take care of others first, even to their own detriment.

Screw it.

Moms need to take care of themselves in order to be good moms and good wives too. I've made resolutions in the past to exercise more, eat better, and take my vitamins.  I have failed miserably.  And I don't like to fail at anything.

I decided to scrap my usual top ten resolution list and dedicate all my resolutions and resources to becoming a a trophy wife for one year.  Why?  Since I was kicked out of chorus in fifth grade, I had to relinquish my dreams of becoming a one-hit wonder and living the glam life for a year.  Becoming a trophy wife seems to be an ambitious aim that represents the epitome of self-care and indulgence.  While it is the complete anti-thesis of who I currently am, it makes the challenge all the more enticing.

What you can expect: I'll be outlining my plan, looking for suggestions, mentors, posting before and after photos, stories, product reviews and all the rest of the goodies that go along with the journey.  If you learn something along the way, all the better for you.


Thank you for reading and I look forward to your feedback!

(Disclaimer: Kids always come first.)   More on how I'm going to handle this later...

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