Cast of Characters

Here's  the main cast of characters who will be intimately involved in my journey in one way or another:

Next of Kin


Alpha male: Great husband and father. Reads the Economist. Biggest WASP this Jewish girl could find.  My health care proxy. A good citizen.
Hermione Granger: Tween daughter who resembles and acts like the bronzed version of Emma Watson's Hermoine Granger. We haven't told her yet that she's smarter than both of her parents combined.  Alpha male's proxy.
The 4th Stooge: Son who spends 75% of the day acting like a light saber. The other 25% is spent coaxing him into participating in the activities of daily living, like teeth brushing.
Harvard Valedictorian: German Shepherd who is the valedictorian at Harvard's Canine Cognition Lab.  Plants family socks in backyard.  Barks and annoys neighbors.  Scared away a house stalker.  Snuggles with her human mom.

Where I Spawned From

Jewish mutha: Oy veh.  College psychology professor. She's an alcohol counselor named after an alcoholic drink.  Went to Woodstock. Invented Jewish Mutha Munchasen's.
The Artist: My brother, who makes a living off of being talented.  Helps with web site design changes since  the initial pink background induced seizures. I can't draw a stick figure with a ruler.
Mensa Sista: Artist, world traveler, rock star roadie and too many things to list.  .
Fatha: Dad, Jewish husband extraordinaire.

Honorable Mention


Best friend: Keeps me young by watching Twilight movies with me.  Only person in the world who will go Black Friday shopping with me every year and can call me at least justified 15 profanities at the end of the day.  Love unconditionally.  Encouraged me to start this blog.
The Therapist:  Business partner.  Will be back shortly from Europe to shrink me.
Shabby Chic and The Doctah:  Dear friends with exquisite taste in everything.  Both were unsuccessful in signing me up for a reality makeover show six months ago.  I am their Other Sister.
Best Pal I Made Gay: Every girl has a guy she dated that almost resulted in a perfect match, minus one big issue. In our case, I made him gay and unintentionally almost killed him by giving nasal drops instead of eye drops. Spent in an exciting evening in the emergency department, thanks to Blue Cross and Blue Shield. He's the Fred Astaire to my Ginger Rogers. Soul companion.
Life Partner: Earlier this week, Life Partner moved away from being my next door neighbor to 1.25 miles away. In past, have shared joys and pains while husbands work a lot.   Is still my half-way house.
D.C. Contingency: Includes best friend, the Hot Mama Marathon Runner (who has agreed to help train me for a May marathon from D.C.), and the Spainard.  We all lived for 6 months together in Washington, D.C. through the "best and worst of times."  The sphinx riddle we seek to solve in life is: Where is K.T.?

The "Fab 5":  Are all in a religious cult and live in my neighborhood.. The needed to bond with a token "chosen" person with the hopes of getting into the Promised Land. Til then, we drink and share a lot.  Soul Sister, Greek Goddess, Virgin Mary Magdalene, and Friend Who I Shared Another Life With are in this group. Cameo appearances will be made by the Fitness Guru, who is the Virgin Mary Magdalene's sister. Although I disappointed Fitness Guru in the past with my poor fitness and motivation performance in her class, she still talks to me. 

"The Book Club": The Therapist encouraged me to join.  A support group of sorts for literary aficionados.  We drink a lot too.  Eat gourmet food and snacks. Share our own autobiographical stories.  Composed of the Therapist, The Sage, The Curious Case of Benjamina Button., The Book Soul Sister and My Psychic Spy who Lives at the End of the World.
Miscellaneous and the many others who are too long to list: Will all be introduced in good time...


While it seems like being anonymous is a front, please keep in mind that reading this blog is intended to remind you of any mom you may know. She is your wife, sister, friend, mother, relative, or the postal woman. Maybe she's you.


Next Up: Liabilities